In my journey with Christ, there have been multiple ups and downs. My relationship with Him has varied on my account.
My decisions, attitude and heart have deterred me from seeking Christ every day. But all that changed two years ago when I read C.S. Lewis' beautiful words based on the culmination of all of Scripture.
"But the great thing to remember is that, though our feelings come and go, His love for us does not. It is not wearied by our sins, or our indifference; and, therefore, it is quite relentless in its determination that we shall be cured of those sins, at whatever cost to us, at whatever cost to Him." – C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity.
I had never truly grasped that His Grace is enough for me until reading this. Two years ago was the turning point in my walk with Him.
However, just because we have an epiphany based on the Holy Spirit’s movement does not mean we suddenly have all the answers. On the contrary, I am convinced I will spend the rest of my life getting to know the God who saved me; I’ll never truly grab hold of His ultimate goodness until I see His face in glory.
So the new question reigns . . .
Am I on the right path?
I've asked myself this question for months now. It echoes in my innermost being, deep within, the persistent drumbeat of an ever present snare. I cannot shake it.
Is this what You would have for me, Lord?
I find that in the question, I latch onto God's words, the only source to which I can learn His character.
"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize." 1 Corinthians 9:24.
In a spur of the moment conversation with my pastor, we unpacked this passage, having been lead there from Peter's teachings of diligence in His second letter.
As the conversation unfolded and I revealed my grappling with the seeming tangibility of this passage, he stopped me and asked . . .
"What if the prize isn't an end goal, but the journey itself?"
How we run the race is of utmost importance. It's how we find the answer to the question: Am I on the right path.
We allow our feelings to define our identity. We want so badly to do something profound that we lose sight of what God lays in front of us in the moment. Instead of looking to the future, we live in its imaginative property, escaping the reality of now which could be exactly what we need.
How we go about each day will ultimately give us the answer of the path laid out before us. We focus too much on the end goal to understand that when our feet hit the ground, they do so upon the Lord's blessing.
When I open my eyes to greet the dawn, I begin. And each passing minute is the next step I take toward glorifying Jesus.
Right now is God's time. Right now is the journey He chose for you.
If we serve a good God, how is it we question where we are?
"Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6.